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Humor in modeling,


odwinn
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A few years ago [OK its been about 20 years or so , as i recall.

i saw a funny story in FSM magazine about Murphy's laws of model building.

and i have no clue why, but it kinda stuck. though i do not have the story any longer and don't remember it , \

 

So i thought i might ask you good folks about it . is there one out there who has this still or remembers it.

also looking to hear funny model builders jokes and story,s

so i will begin with this one.

 

Two Modelers were talking, and one looks over at the other and says,

'' Do you believe in reincarnation Joe ? Joe looks back and says he does not,

the other looks over and says that that is probably good . and tells his friend that he really hates Re Pops anyhow,

 

[yea its a groaner lol]

 

NEXT !

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About 20-25yrs ago (or so) IPMS Eddie Rickenbacker in Columbus OH compiled a lot of "tips" from their "Flyby" newsletter and put it into a 30pg pamphlet called "Basically Speaking". It was given to members and sold at the local hobby shops. The rear of the booklet has:

"Murphy's Laws as Applied to Modeling"

1) The most important part is always the one missing

2) A seam is never on any known panel line.

3) Within a year of your major conversion or scratchbuild project, it will be released as an injection molded kit (in your scale).

4) The part with the most mold flash will be the most delicate.

5) The odds of finding the part you just dropped under your bench are directly proportional to how important the part is to finishing the kit.

6) A decal will only silver where it is most visible.

7) Gloss paint will always run.

8) The latest kit of a model in your stash will always be better than the one you own.

9) Tank treads are always too long, or too short, but never just right.

10) A seam will always be in the worst location to fill and sand.

11) The worst fitting joint will always be where the most surface detail can be destroyed by sanding.

12a) If a manufacturer should mold a part in one piece, they'll mold in six pieces.

B) If they should mold it in several pieces, they'll mold it as one piece.

13) An out-of-production kit will always be re-released, but only AFTER you've paid a collector 3 times its worth for one.

14) A model build that you like will always do worse in a contest than your builds that you don't like as well.

15) There will always be decals on a Microscale decal sheet with no reference drawings as to their location. (This one shows how old this is!)

16) The markings you hand painted will be released on a decal sheet the following month.

17) The decal that shatters into a thousand pieces is the one you need most.

18) Kit decals are always off register.

19) The guy who writes the article always makes it sound so easy.

20) There's no such thing as an easy vacuform kit.

21) Matchbox kit plastic colors will never match any known FS color spec.

22) Paint or glue will only spill where it can do the most damage.

23a) When you need a lot of glue, you'll get a little.

B) When you need a little glue, you'll get a lot.

24) Anything advertised as "fast drying", won't.

25) You'll only find out about the new kit at the local hobby shop after it's sold out.

26) The kit you saw somewhere last week will never be there when you return to purchase it the next week.

27) The kid eating the greasy french fries will always choose YOUR model to pick up.

28) You will not see the flaw in your model until you have published some close-up photos of it on the web.

 

 

and remember, Murphy was an optimist!!

 

All of the above courtesy of the great guys in IPMS Columbus, of whom I'm proud to still call myself a member!

 

GIL :smiley16:

Edited by ghodges
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Gil,

I would agree if everyone but 13. That is only of late. I have been getting pretty lucky on EBAY for some OOP car kits. The funniest one has been the old Christie Fire Engine. Those "EBAY STORES" have it listed for $40 or more plus shipping. Picked one up the other day for only $5.50.

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Gil,

I would agree if everyone but 13. That is only of late. I have been getting pretty lucky on EBAY for some OOP car kits. The funniest one has been the old Christie Fire Engine. Those "EBAY STORES" have it listed for $40 or more plus shipping. Picked one up the other day for only $5.50.

 

Awesome! I only paid $20.00 for my Christie Fire Truck and I thought that was a deal! Got it finished a year later. If you want tips for that bad boy, let me know and I'll fill you in on all I remember.

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Great list Gil.

 

If we want to get modern with the list, you can add;

 

You will not see the flaw in your model until you have published some close-up photos of it on the web.

 

Clare

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Duke,

Thanks for the offer. The kit was actually for another IPMS member that needed one. I was just the go between.

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There can be no humor in scale modeling. I've been a member of various model forums and even the old rec.models.scale since the 90s. This is serious stuff. Haven't you seen the flame wars? Men will hound one another for decades in order to ridicule each other over these wars. There's an old RMS feud that still pops up every now and again. That one's been in play since the mid to late 90s.

 

No humor, not allowed.

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You are absolutely righr, RG. It was at an IPMS show that I overheard two armor experts arguing over whether my fictitious missile and launcher was the A or B version.

 

 

Yes, what's worse than any armor, aircraft or car modeler are when sci-fi modelers argue in the forums. Epic battles with internet chases from modeling site to modeling site. All over the correct color of a fictional vehicle seen on TV or in the movies.

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I have personal experience with this one....

 

Your labor of love/pride and joy model will wind up on the contest table next to the most detailed, well painted, People's Choice and Judges' Best of Show choice winner.

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"Your labor of love/pride and joy model will wind up on the contest table next to the most detailed, well painted, People's Choice and Judges' Best of Show choice winner."

 

 

Heck, modeler extraordinaire Ken Belisle is a member of our local club, this happens to me at out meetings! :smiley18:

 

GIL :smiley16:

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  • 2 weeks later...

This one came to me via email a couple days ago. Author is unknown.

 

 

Modelers' Rules of Acquistion

1. You want it therefore you need it.

2. You need it therefore you must buy it.

3. All other things you need, including food, shelter, clothing, car insurance, and lunch money, are incidental in comparison to what you need for modeling.

4. Never add up the total for what you have purchased for modeling.

5. If someone else says they have something, for whatever reason, and like it, then you have to buy it, even if you're not sure you should have it.

6. If you are compelled to calculate total dollars spent on modeling and related items, never count things that are not actual models.

7. Never include items that cannot be traced via the receipt, for example office supplies are office supplies, and tape is tape - never mind where it ends up in your house.

8. When writing checks from the joint checking account, always write "K.G." in the check register. You will know that this stands for "Killer Goodies" but your significant other will think it is Kroger Grocery when she scans the checkbook to see where you have been shopping. And she knows groceries are expensive, and you need lots of them.

9. If a member of your family discards an item that is usable for modeling, you may replace it. For example, you receive a shirt as a gift - if significant other throws the shirt pins and clear plastic collar tabs away you may purchase replacements. You do not have to replace them with identical articles. This applies to Nestlé Crunch candy bar wrappers that your kids throw away too, however they are not permitted to eat the replacement candy!

10. If everyone else wants it, then you must want it too, even if you don't know what it is.

11. If everyone else wants it, even if you don't know what it is, and you find it on sale, buy it all. (note: This phenomenon is widely known as the "sale" factor, and is the only situation in which the Modeler may completely ignore Rules of Acquisition #6 and #7, and announce gleefully how much money he has saved by purchasing said items. This suspending of the rules is dependent upon:

a) the actual percentage off,

b) the total dollar amount spent

c) the projected reaction of partner/other interested party. For more detailed worksheet on Rule Suspension see Modelers' Rules of Acquisition Handbook - Chapter 9, Subsection C, Paragraph 14, and example on facing page.)

12. Never, ever let your "Significant Other" read the Modeler's Rules of Acquisition...for reasons obvious to the seasoned modeler. For those of you who are new to this hobby, does "the jig is up" mean anything to you?

13. Reconciling yourself early to the fact that every trip to the hobby shop costs a minimum of $40, even if your intentions were to buy just one decal sheet, will save you much anxiety and false guilt.

14. Grab bags must be purchased at they time they are advertised.

15. There very likely could be that one special model you cannot live without, and the others work for trades! If you don't order immediately, you may lose that special kit.

16. Keep everything, no matter how useless or ugly or small it may be. It will become absolutely essential for a model project some day.

17. When you buy something, use it before you read the directions (Acquisition reasoning -- if you mess it up or break it, you get to buy another one).

18. You can't take it with you applies only to money. Begin getting your loved ones accustomed to the fact that you intend to be buried with your models.

19. Plastic models are an inexpensive hobby. Applying male logic to your modeling purchases can prove this. For example, no hobby where the supplies usually cost under $10 can possibly be as expensive as the usual big-ticket male hobbies such as radio controlled airplanes, restoring vintage automobiles, pro-team season tickets, etc. This just makes sense.

20. Every modeler must own every type of glue that is on the market. However, he may restrict use to his favorites.

21. Whenever a new paint line is made available, you must immediately purchase every one of the colors in which it comes.

22. When getting a model for a particular project it is imperative that you buy the same type from a variety of companies (a minimum of 3 is recommended). Once you actually sit down to build the model you will find that it is much better that you have not limited your selection to just one option.

23. It is essential to have all possible tools even if you know you won't use anything but your X-Acto knife. You never know when having the Tri-Tool saw blade #TT-37X4a will be perfect!

24. Get all types of paint; don't limit your creativity to just Model Master and Aeromaster. Make sure you have a good selection of Floquil, Humbrol, Xtracolor, and even the cheap Testors you buy at Wally Mart!

25. The iron is not for clothes; it is for making "weighted and bulged" tires. Anyone who uses an iron for clothes is excommunicated from the Modeler's Union. (note: You may avoid excommunication by following subsection B pursuant to rule #23 which in layman's terms translates as "you may use an iron for its original perverted purpose only by purchasing an auxiliary iron. However, only the old iron may be used for household purposes. Aforementioned perverted purpose is not one that is condoned by the Modeler's Union and should be performed only by support staff personnel.)

26. Tissue paper is for making tarps and for hoarding. Never use it for packing material or for wrapping packages.

27. There is absolutely no such thing as too many modeling magazines of any kind. Disregard nasty comments about the twenty years worth of Scale Models stashed in the boxes at the back of the garage. Corollaries here are:

a) the complete set of Scale Models is worth the $1500...they are actually priceless.

b) it is perfectly acceptable to save not only anything remotely usable, but also all the junk no one else wants...

c) everything is parts box fodder and should be purchased and/or saved. Especially any broken plastic or metal toys

d) "Reference Material". If you think that you will ever build a model of this airplane/car/tank/ship you must buy the book now for reference because it will not be available when you really need it

e) Decals! You can never have enough decals. So what if you need 150 F-4 kits or 238 Bf-109 kits to use all of them. HisAirDec and ABT decals are historical items and should be cherished.

28. If you think there is a ghost of a chance that you might use it in a future project, buy it now. Cause if you need it later, you can bet

a) you won't be able to find it,

b) no one will have heard of it and

c) there won't be a substitute.

29. A modeler must purchase appropriate storage containers, shelves, bins, units, etc., for all modeling related purchases. A modeler has the right and responsibility to discard all previously purchased storage systems in order to purchase a new, more appropriate system at any time.

30. A corollary to number 19 above: Modeling actually saves money. Modeling promotes the do-it-yourself philosophy. This is evident in the activities of molding, carving, and casting your own parts, and making your own toys.

31. Modeling is your civic duty. Think globally, act locally. Purchasing models and supplies is politically correct for the following reasons:

a) It supports a local business and reduces the number of unemployed;

b) it promotes creativity and cottage industry;

c) it supports minority owned businesses (if modelers aren't a minority, who is?);

d) buying expensive, imported model kits stimulates the economies of developing nations; Thus purchasing models is your civic duty. It logically follows that the world would be a better place if everyone built models. Write your congressmen today to begin the process of passing legislation making it illegal not to build models.

32. If you happen upon a super model-related deal somewhere and you buy enough for you and all your friends, and your friends buy some from you--the money they give you is free to be used to purchase more model stuff, since it has been "laundered" and isn't, technically, coming out of your pocket!

33. You must subscribe to every modeler's magazine whether or not you ever have time to read any of them. The pictures are always nice to look at and give you ideas for more model purchases you need to make.

34. You must spend thousands of dollars on a home computer, a fast modem, and an internet account so you can get online to visit all the modeling websites and get the latest hobby information. Only then will know where you can save $1.50 on your next model acquisition. This will indeed, sooner or later, justify the total cost of your computer

 

Edited by Mark Aldrich
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34 a. You must purchase the latest digital camera with all the appropriate macro stuff, so you can use the high end computer you have from 34 to post out of focus, poorly lit pictures of your progress on models so other modelers will be able to ooh and ahh over them. The out of focus part is very important because you don't want to let the cat out of the bag before Nat's or other modeler are likely to copy your lead and flood the table with look a likes. Only after a model has run the competition tour can you really use the camera stuff the way it was meant to be used so people can truly appreciate what a masterpiece you have created.

 

 

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Mark, have you been looking over my shoulder? A great set of rules. It is hard to choose my favorite rule. I love 27 D. For that reason, I have all of the Profiles, in Actions etc. "There might be a kit of that airplane sometime". Also, 27 E caused me to check my list of decals. I found out that I had 1342 decal records and only 547 kit records. I got rid of a bunch of kits a couple of years ago but the point is made about decals. A friend of mine called decals "Eye Candy for modelers. (Blush) I found that i actually had 69 sets of F-4 decals.

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I'm light on modeling articles for my monthly newsletter this month, so I'm including both Murphy's Laws as Applied to Modeling (with a credit to IPMS/Eddie Rickenbacker) and Modelers' Rules of Acquisition (author anonymous). Thanks for the great, wise, perceptive observations.

 

Ed

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Hey, you never know when you are going to need that one obscure graphic that is only avalible on that one decal set that was produced for a little know version of an obscure subject of an unknown regiment of the Mongolian 4th attack brigade as they fought on May 14th of 1936. There is no rule that says you have to use an entire set for a single model. After all, no set of decals is perfect for a given subject. You will always need mutiple sheets to get is just right!:smiley20:

Mark, have you been looking over my shoulder? A great set of rules. It is hard to choose my favorite rule. I love 27 D. For that reason, I have all of the Profiles, in Actions etc. "There might be a kit of that airplane sometime". Also, 27 E caused me to check my list of decals. I found out that I had 1342 decal records and only 547 kit records. I got rid of a bunch of kits a couple of years ago but the point is made about decals. A friend of mine called decals "Eye Candy for modelers. (Blush) I found that i actually had 69 sets of F-4 decals.

Edited by PeteJ
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Let me suggest a new subsection to #31:

 

31. e. it keeps thousands of attorneys employed developing and enforcing licensing agreements with kit manufacturers so we can enjoy building models of products designed and paid for by our parents and grandparents and/or logo images of products past and present.

 

Ed

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Let me suggest a new subsection to #31:

 

31. e. it keeps thousands of attorneys employed developing and enforcing licensing agreements with kit manufacturers so we can enjoy building models of products designed and paid for by our parents and grandparents and/or logo images of products past and present.

 

Ed

Ed,

 

You know that the first job of every lawyer is to make work for other lawyers!

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You know that the first job of every lawyer is to make work for other lawyers!

 

 

And that's why...[insert appropriate inflammatory political comment here.]...!!!

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You are absolutely righr, RG. It was at an IPMS show that I overheard two armor experts arguing over whether my fictitious missile and launcher was the A or B version.

 

 

Yes, what's worse than any armor, aircraft or car modeler are when sci-fi modelers argue in the forums. Epic battles with internet chases from modeling site to modeling site. All over the correct color of a fictional vehicle seen on TV or in the movies.

 

 

That was in black and white.

Rod

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